March Madness

Madness:Pronunciation: \ˈmad-nəs\.  Function: noun

1: the quality or state of being mad: as a : rage b : insanity c : extreme folly d : ecstasy, enthusiasm.
2: skipping your colonoscopy.

March is Colon Cancer Awareness month.  I will repeat my request for you to get your colonoscopy* over with.  If you are under 40, tell your parents to get the procedure.

Look.  This is not hard.  You have to "prep" the day before, meaning that you forgo solid food and drink a laxative that induces diarrhea.  If you've ever had food poisoning or an intestinal virus (a.k.a. the cruise ship trots), then you've had far worse diarrhea than you will with the prep.  The day of the procedure, you show up, have an i.v. inserted, make butt jokes with the nurses, make drug jokes with the anesthesiologist, fall asleep, and then wake up later.  That's all there is.  You don't see the camera going up your butt and you certainly don't feel anything.  You can reward yourself with a big lunch afterward.  Consider it a diet holiday and eat heartily.

Are you afraid of what they'll find?  In the overwhelming majority of cases they find nothing.  I know what you're thinking, "But they found something in you."  Truthfully, there's an extremely small chance that they'll find something.  But it's better to find out early, when you have no symptoms, than later, when you're in pain and bleeding.  Polyps in the early stage can be clipped right then and there.  Look, here are the survival rates at five years after diagnosis.  The numbers are from multiple sources, hence the range.

Stage 0: ~100% (pre-cancerous polyps)
Stage 1: up to 95%
Stage 2: ~80%
Stage 3: 40-65%
Stage 4: 8%

What are you waiting for? Get off your ass and have it looked at.


*  I know the guidelines recommend colonoscopies for those over 50, not 40, but I can't be impartial because I'm 43, younger than the recommended age.  Talk to your doctor as there are other screening options.

Placing Sports in Context.

Athletes and sports fans like to throw around the word "war" gratuitously and irresponsibly. The US-Mexico match may turn into a street fight, but it is not a war.

We have a close family friend (I'll call him Joe because that's his name) who is deployed in the Middle East, where we are at war. Joe has been my bro-in-law's friend and a friend to our family for over 20 years. What Joe is doing is serious and any attempts to draw a parallel between sports contests and actual war is wrong. We wish Joe and his 34th "Red Bull" Infantry Division a successful mission and a safe return. They are the only Red Bulls I'll ever root for.

Post-match update:

Well, that sucked. Giving up a goal in the last 10 minutes was awful. Say what you want about the altitude and the smog, but Donovan and Dempsey were both absent for much of the match. Save for Davies' goal, we gave the ball away each time we entered the final third.