FOLFOX Round 8:: 66.66666666666...

Eight down, four to go.  And it seems like just yesterday that I started all my treatments.

At this visit we learned that my platelet counts are low due to the oxaliplatin.  That's really a direct, rather than side, effect.  The drugs are supposed to kill rapidly dividing cells, like tumor cells, and blood cell precursors happen to divide rapidly.  Side effects, like the numbness in my hands and the cold intolerance, are hanging around like bad house guests.  So my oncologist dialed back to dose, rather than delay the treatment.  He may be concerned that some of the side effects may become permanent at the regular dose, or that my platelet count will be so low that I'll bleed to death if I cut myself shaving.  I could solve that by waxing my legs instead.

The infusion went according to plan.  I packed my chemo bag with snacks, my laptop, and a DVD of In Plain Sight - Season 1 (who knew there were so many protected witnesses in Albuquerque?)  There were no schedule mishaps or drug formula substitutions.  It all went like clockwork.  Anyway, I have four treatments left and the side effects will only get more intense.  But, what else can I do other than suck it up and push through.  Anyway, I can be persuaded to lay on the couch all day from June 11 - July 11.

No U8 game this weekend, but last Saturday the boys played another hard-fought game, this time with two subs, but we "lost" by one goal.  Nevertheless, we passed the ball well, took a lot of shots, and scored a handful of goals. One of kids even did things that showed he actually listened during practice.

At match time, we did not have a referee, so I reffed the first half.  Thank goodness U8s don't use the offside rule.  I'm a bit vague on the ref's hand signals, other than pointing which way the possession goes.  After all, who looks at the ref during the match?  There must be a sign for "shut up" that I could show to the parents who constantly yell "KICK IT!"  It's freaking soccer, of course they know to kick the ball.  The ref showed up for the second half, claiming that he was stuck in traffic from Baltimore.   Must be a long closing-time rush hour, because our game was at 8 AM.

The Lion Doesn't Sleep Tonight

One of the problems I have is sleeplessness.  Sometimes I don't feel sleepy until 2 or 3 AM, and on the days that I do get to sleep at a reasonable hour, I wake up early.  Waking up early, one notices things in the neighborhood, like when the garbage truck comes, and that guy (I'm assuming it's a guy) a few doors down who starts his car promptly at 5 AM and lets it warm up for exactly five minutes, no matter what the weather.  Oh yeah, and the boids choipin' and boipin' and eatin' doity oithwoims.


The other thing one does when sleepless is to find interesting tools on the internet.  I found a travel map generator to show the countries of all who have visited this blog.  It's not a live, updateable tool, so if you leave the page, your data are lost.  You also can't save the data.  I haven't figured out how to embed the image yet, but you can find a link on the right sidebar (or just click here).

I also found another hit counter with a map, that started on May 27, so it won't include past hits.

So far, the countries in Continent Bingo are:

Africa: Morocco
Asia: India, Indonesia, United Arab Emirates
Europe: Belgium, Bulgaria, Czech Republic, Denmark, Estonia, Finland, France, Greece, Hungary, Ireland, Latvia, Netherlands, Poland, Russia, Slovakia, Spain, Sweden, United Kingdom,
North America: Canada, United States
South America: Chile
Oceania: Australia

Antarctica:  no hits yet (how about you, Dan?).  I suspect that internet access from the research stations is routed through the home countries' servers.

Everybody talks about the weather...

... but no-one does anything about it. Charles Dudley Warner

Well, I'm going to change all that. This must really be the coldest Spring on record.  Just when I think it's starting to warm up, we get another cold front and I'm back to wearing gloves for soccer practice and games.  I'm tired of it.  So I'm trading in my Honda Accord for a Hummer and I'm going to remove the catalytic converter.  Screw the ozone layer and let the stupid polar bears swim.

Two Saturdays ago, the U8s played another game with only six players, but we won this one.  Well, we don't keep score in this rec league, but the kids do and mention it during the match.  I can't blame them.  There were six of them running all the time in the midday sun without respite.  Who would begrudge them some satisfaction?  Our first two were scored before the sixth player arrived.  We started with five (the quorum) so as not to forfeit.

The opposing coach was yellow carded for mouthing off at the ref.  Obviously he didn't read the e-mail, sent earlier that week, about coach and parent behavior.  He was also way, way, waaaay off base on his protests.  They were all 50-50 balls and the kids bumped into each other - expected for U8 games.  I'll bet this coach, when he plays, is a diver.

I really don't know what makes grown-ups so petulant at U8 games.  If they get that upset about the little calls in a U8 rec game, they shouldn't be coaching.  Maybe some of them are trying to impress the parents with their "knowledge of the game."   Really, what do you say to the ref during the game, other than "Man down."  My role at the game is to make sure the kids get enough playing time (which is really easy when there are no subs) and enjoy the game.  After that, I yell encouragement and minimal instructions like "Stay in your goal!" and "Move up, defense!"  Some of them (the keeper and defender) usually stay in their positions.  Others just roam the field.  Commanding them not to bunch up is futile.  We talk about it in practice and run drills where they're spaced apart and passing, but during the games, all except the keeper and the defender chase the ball.

Soccerheads: Read this article on US defender Clarence Goodson, a protege of Joe Doc (Skill Kills!).

FOLFOX Round 7: If It's Tuesday, It Must Be Wednesday

The first six rounds of chemo all started on a Tuesday and ended on a Thursday.  I plan my week around it, e.g. so that I don't have to wear the chemo pump during soccer practice on Thursday evening).  However, this week was different.  I was teleworking Tuesday morning, expecting to go to the doctor's office at 1:00 PM, when I got a call from aforementioned doctor's office to remind me of my appointment on Wednesday at 1:00 PM. 

"Wednesday?" I asked incredulously, "I always have my appointments on Tuesday, why is it on Wednesday?"

It turns out that they scheduled me for Wednesday, but I did not catch the error.  I have the tentative times blocked off on my calendar, so when they told me the appointment, I must have just heard the time and updated only that on my smart phone.  How smart is it if it didn't catch the error?  Anyway, I talked to one of the nurses to see if they could squeeze me in on Tuesday afternoon, but she said it was impossible because my drugs arrive by overnight courier on the morning of my appointment and thus,  wouldn't be there until Wednesday morning.

"So, I'm not picky.  Could I just have someone else's chemo?"
"No," she laughed. "It doesn't work that way."

So, come Wednesday, I'm sitting in the infusion room, getting my drugs and reading Soccernomics, when the English nurse (she's from southern England, I hope, for her sake, she's not a Portsmouth fan) tells me that one of my drugs, Leucovarin the "L" in FOLFOX, arrived in a saline solution, which is different from what I usually get.  Saline, it turns out, is incompatible with oxaliplatin (the "OX), so she couldn't run it in the same iv line to my mediport.  Instead, she had to find one of my junkie veins and run a new line into my arm.  Fortunately for them, nurses and phlebotomists never have problems finding my stout veins.  The only trouble she had was seeing the veins under all that hair.  You kow what hairy arms mean, don't you - tape.  Anyway, they had to use this work around for several patients and assured us that it was only an anomaly and would not happen again.

Two chapters, a couple of comments on Soccer Insider, and a nap later I was out of there.

Our soccer team lost another game.  The U8s play 6-on-6 and exactlysix players(out of 11) showed up for the game.  So they were exhausted quickly.  Nevertheless, these six played their best game of the season.  Our meandering defender got out of position many times to chase a winger, but he followed the ball doggedly and shut down many chances.  Our goalkeepers (I did rotate at this position) stayed on their line and actually fell on the ball instead of trying to kick it away.  Our forwards and midfielders passed better than in any other game and got many shots off.  Unfortunately, fatigue set in early and many of the shots were hurried.  A 0-3 loss was not bad, considering.  One bright side is that I could toss out my substitution scheme at the start of the game.

FOLFOX Round 6: At The Half

I'm midway through the FOLFOX treatments.  My oncologist says I'm "doing great."  Funny, I don't feel great at all.  But his perspective includes a whole lot of cancer patients and mine includes me.  The side effects are piling up more, so it's going to be an uphill climb from now through July.

I found a new side effect.  Sometimes, one of my fingers will just stick out and not relax at all.  Another time, I made a fist with my right hand and, when my brain told my fist to relax, it didn't.  Being scientifically minded, I repeated the experiment and used my left hand as a control.  The left hand relaxed, but the right didn't.  Anyway, this has only happened once so far, but I imagine it will again during round 7.  I hope the finger won't get me in trouble.

So, I spent an hour and a half at the Maryland Motor Vehicle Adminstration (the DMV in most other states).  The reason was that someone stole my rear license plate and I had to get a new set.  The thieves also stole my University of Florida license plate frame, so I have to go to webmart and buy a new set.  I wonder if I can get one with Heather Mitts' picture.

I shouldn't complain, but...

When I write "I shouldn't complain," it means that I'm going to complain, but I want you to think I'm a reasonable person who usually knows when to hold his tongue.  Anyway, the topics of my pique are in bold.

The side effects are increasingly annoying.  My sensitivity to cold objects now lasts the entirety of the two-week treatment cycle.  The effects modulate somewhat in the last seven days, but they do not subside completely.  Right now I'm typing this in a room that's probably at 70 degrees, but my fingers are tingling and I'm making more typos than usual.

Fatigue is also an issue.  It used to begin the day after my pump was disconnected., but it now starts earlier and lasts longer.  That's a bit of a problem when trying to run a Cub Scout den meeting, soccer practice, and the game.  Fortunately, those aren't all in one day and I can usually recruit other parents to help out.

My weight is beginning to drop - I lost a pound since my last weigh-in.  Even though I try to "eat as if it's a chore," the insensitive taste buds don't allow me to enjoy much.  I'll probably drop five to ten more pounds.  If you know me, you know that I can't afford to drop weight.

It would be nice if parents brought their kids to the soccer game on time.  I ask that they get there 15 minutes early to warm up and stretch, with the unreasonable hope that all 11 players will be there at game time.  At the last game, only six players were present for kickoff (the U8s play 6v6).  This completely screws up the line-up and substitutions that I plan. 

The referee lined the players up for an equipment check.  She did that last season too and is the only ref to do so.  One of the kids, despite everything I've told them and their parents, wore his shin guards over his socks.  At least I could blame the ref when I told tell dad that his son could not participate until he was properly in uniform.  This dad also yells "KICK IT!"  whenever the ball gets near his son.  I've asked the parents to refrain from coaching, because I don't want the kids to just boot the ball aimlessly, but that is also an unreasonable hope.

We lost the last match horribly. The mercy rule (add another player at -5 goal differential) was implemented in the middle of the first half.  Adding the player didn't help.  Part of the problem is that we took our team picture an hour before the game, and the boys ran around during the waiting time and may have tired themselves out.  So, rev up the "Fire Coach 270" bandwagon again.

I just put golvs on to tyoe.  Cqan you tell?>

FOLFOX Round 5: When It Absolutely, Positively, Has To Be There... Whenever

Nothing ever goes as planned.  I went to my infusion appointment last Tuesday, as I do every other Tuesday.  But I waited a little more time in the waiting room.  When I got to the infusion room, I noticed that one patient was getting extra attention from several nurses.  Not that I'm jealous, mind you.  It's going to happen in an oncology practice that someone has an emergency from time to time that takes a lot of attention.  So I sat in the recliner and waited until one of the nurses was free to hook me up and start my infusion.  In all, I was in the oncologist's office for five hours.

When I went back two days later, to have the pump disconnected, I was supposed to get a Neulasta shot.  Unfortunately, the shipment of refrigerated drugs was sitting on the ground in Memphis.  I'm sure that the Eyjafjallajökull is taking the blame for that.  Have you noticed how the English-language new services never mention the volcano's name?  It's always "the volcano in Iceland" or  "the volcano that has disrupted air travel in Europe."  C'mon, can't anyone pronounce Eyjafjallajökull?!

On the positive side, the "Fire Coach 270" bandwagon is idling.  The U8s are now 1-1, with a +6 goal differential.  We have more wins and more goals than DC United. The last game was fun for our team, but not so much for the other.  Most of them hadn't played soccer before and they were younger than our team.  Next time we outmatch a team (if there is a next time), I'll probably institute the 3-passes-before-you shoot rule or take a player off.  I informed the other coach that she could add a player at 5-0, but she said they "weren't keeping score."  Sorry lady, the kids do keep score.

Lies, Damn Lies, and Hit Counts

I started this blog last summer, but didn't install a hit counter until January.  It measures hits from individual computers and may overestimate the number of readers as some of you read this from your work and home computers. I'm not sure how or if it counts mobile devices.  If you're reading this from an iPhone or Droid, put the phone down and drive.

Anyway, now that we've crossed 1,000 individual computers, let's take a look at you. I should mention that it's a free hit counter, so the stat reports are limited - I don't know who you are.

Where you at?
Most of you are in the United States.  You're probably looking for traffic reports or directions from Bethesda, MD to Hershey, PA and are wondering what I-270 has to do with colon cancer.  The highway and the colon are both routes with noxious, gaseous emissions.  Sometimes traffic moves quickly and sometimes not at all.  Fortunately, with the colon you get only one @$$h0le.

We have some repeat visitors from Spain (los amigos madrileños), Canada (cousins?), and the UK (other cousins?).

Among the one-time hits is someone from Denmark.  I don't know anyone in Denmark, or the rest of Scandinavia (including Finland and Iceland), but I do know Scandahoovian folks from Minnesota.

Other one-time hits have been from Australia and Slovakia, who may be former colleagues (G'day and dobre rano, respectively), and Poland.  I don't think I know anyone in Poland.

Your Gear
Most of you use PCs, probably because that's what you have at work (lots of XP users).  To those you you who have Macs supported by your IT department - luck-yyyyy.

Most of you use Internet Explorer.  Please run a virus scan immediately, then download Firefox.  For those using IE6, I have your credit card and social security numbers.

Anyway, all of you are welcome to post comments by clicking on "comments" at the bottom of each entry.. You may post as anonymous and make up a name.  Also, feel free to e-mail me.  If something is funny enough to be shared, I'll post it without your name.

Songs Of The Colon

Previously on The Local Lanes...

cowpasture said... Has this blog noted one songwriter's attempt to do for National Colorectal Cancer Awareness Month what he did for Chanukah?

The Colonscopy Song: Peter Yarrow

OK.. You asked for it.  Well, maybe all of you didn't but it's my damn blog.  Here are some clips about colons, rectums, and scopes.

Working Where the Sun Don't Shine: Bowser and Blue. I posted this one before my surgery.

The Colon is a Mighty Big River: Bowser and Blue. Schoolhouse Rock for adults.  Warning: contains actual colonoscopy images.

I Don't Like Getting Older: Robert Klein:

Bonus Comedy Track: WARNING: NOT SAFE FOR WORK OR KIDS.  Remember Billy Connolly?  Most Americans were introduced to him as Howard Hesseman's replacement in Head of the Class, you know, the savant sweathogs.  Here's his stand up routine about getting a colonoscopy.  He's Scottish, so he swears a lot and you may need a translator...

FOLFOX Round 4: Neulasta lasts an extra. extra. extra long time

My fourth round of treatment started with the usual routine: vitals, blood work, and a quick exam.  I managed to gain three pounds since my last visit, so eating all that garbage paid off.  I eat burgers, pizza, and, when the cold intolerance subsides, I scarf down a couple of Klondike bars (dark chocolate shell).  Of course it's bad for me, but I have to get my weight up so that I can lose it again.

Unlike last year's chemo, when my taste buds were very sensitive, the drugs in this round have really mucked up my taste buds.  Everything I eat tastes like the dry chicken breast that you have at corporate banquets.  Every meal I have is a disappointment because I can smell the food, just not taste it.  Mrs. 270 says that if everything tastes like cardboard, I might as well eat healthy stuff.  But then I play the weight loss card.

 

During the last treatment, when my white blood cell counts dropped, the nurse gave me a shot of Neupogen.  This time, my WBC counts are low again, so they're giving me Neulasta.  Neulasta contains the same cytokine as Neupogen, but it's mixed with polyethlyene glycol (a relative of antifreeze).  This acts as a slow-release depot for the drug, hence the "last" part of the name.  Those pharmaceutical nomenclaturists sure are clever.  The effects are supposed to last longer.  I suppose that's true for the side-effects too.

The cold intolerance is, to say the least, inconvenient.  At my house, school day breakfast for the kids usually consists of something processed and frozen (waffles or toaster strudel).  As the executive chef for breakfast, it is my duty to take these items from the freezer and put them in the toaster over.  This requires gloves and tongs.  So the next time you see someone using oven mittens to take something from the freezer, he or she may have peripheral neuropathy, not dementia.

As I was returning from treatment, I noticed that my can accrued over 100,000 miles sometime in the last two weeks.  I knew it was coming up and had plans to pull over and phone the odometer (it's a guy thing).  But I forgot and now it sits at around 100,500.  What a lost opportunity.  They should really install an alarm for this.  This is the second car I've had to reach a century of millennia.  When I was in grad school, before Toyotas were spontaneously accelerating, my Celica reached 100,000 miles.  But, the speedometer cluster had broken somewhere around 90K.  Fixing it was not a priority (back then, our stipend was roughly $12K/year), so I had to gauge my speed by the gear and the tachometer (another guy thing).  Also back then, we did not have digital cameras on our cell phones because we did not have digital cameras and we did not have cell phones.  Next time I have a car that hits 100K miles, I'm sure the car will send you all tweets.