Saturday, September 19, 2009

Just Throwing This Out (Up?) There

I'll get back to the naming poll in a short while. In the meantime, week 4 is over. It went pretty well except for the radiation burns (dermatitis) that are really starting to chafe. The other side effects are increasing too. A pretty common one is dehydration - I wake up with cotton-mouth and my blood pressure has been low. The nurses asked if i want i.v. fluids to re-hydrate, but I've passed so far, opting to drink more, or "push the fluids." The problem with that is that the fluids push back.

Another side effect is nausea. I've been taking pre-emptive anti-emetics for this and so far, so good. They've prescribed three lines of anti-emetics.

"Take Kytril. If you still have nausea and vomiting, use Prochlorper. And if that doesn't work, use Lorazepam. If that doesn't work, we'll give you a new prescription.
The fourth line anti-emetic, Emend, is the one that actually works, but they don't prescribe that initially because it's too expensive (according to my infectious disease physician friend). Unfortunately, they don't prescribe Marinol. But that would be the best thing for cancer patients who are losing weight because one of the side effects is the munchies.

One of my friends, a mother of three, said about the side effects, "It sounds a lot like pregnancy." So, I have diarrhea, nausea, and exhaustion in common with pregnant women, and the radiation burns maybe feels like having an episiotomy. But the main difference is that I don't get a shower.

"I have a tumor."
"Oh wow. Where are you registered?"
"Tumors R Us, Bye Bye Cancer, and Target."

Monday, September 14, 2009

Name That Tumor

Tumor, tumor bo burley
Banana fana fo firley
Fe fi fo firley

So, obviously, we need a naming contest. Submit your entries in the comments section. So far, we have:
  • Mr. Tumor - Joe Doc, a conservative idea, from the right wing.
  • Amani (Tumor) - BaRRD, impressive that she knew him as Toomor is one of the few NFL players not in trouble with the law.
Please do not use the tumor's location in your entry, because some will think that you're referring to me. The winner will be selected in true soccer fashion by a process that's too complicated to explain.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

The Tumor Speaks

I-270 stupidly forgot to log out of the blog, so I'm taking over to set a few things straight.

Look. They've been trying to kill me with poison and radiation for three weeks now. And all of you are cheering for them. What did I ever do to any of you? Nothing. Not a damned thing. You just don't like me. I know why you don't. I don't fit your profile of someone you want to associate with. You don't respect me because I wasn't born into an elite, big-name family like Hodgkins or Wilms. And I didn't go to the fancy cancer schools like Sloan-Kettering or Dana Farber and become a brain tumor or something.

No. I come from the streets - worse than the streets, the sewer.
I'm just trying to get out of here. You think it's nice where I am? Hell no. All day I have to sit here while all sorts of... stuff slides over me. And the smell? I can't begin to describe it. Not to mention that sometimes it gets drafty in here - if you know what I mean. Hey! What the.. jeow8yu4jsdgfgdfdsf..................

OK. I got the computer back. Sorry for the rude interruption.
Week three is in the books. A few side effects. The worst are the radiation burns on, well, down there. The hints of nausea are, so far, controllable with the anti-emetics. I have three of those, with on option for a fourth, but that's another blog in the making. The bottom line is that I'm still healthy enough to write stupid stuff on the internet.

Monday, September 7, 2009

A Tale of Two Cities (And Their Clubs)

Week two is over. It was pretty much like week one. The low point came Wednesday night watching DC United play miserably in losing the US Open Cup. I didn't make it to the final like I did last year, so DC's record in finals that I attend is still 2-0.

A group of us went to the 1997 MLS Cup final, including my friend from Madrid (no, he didn't fly over for the game, he lived here at the time). Nevertheless, he doesn't completely follow the DC United references in this blog. So I've made a list of similarities between DC United and Real Madrid to make this blog more relevant to him.:

Each team:
  • Plays in it's nation's capital (let's start with an easy one)
  • Has players with Spanish names (another easy one).
  • Has fans with Spanish names (Oh hush. You knew it was coming).
  • Paid too much for its star Brazilian.
  • Has an iconic, aging player who plays well just when you think he should retire.
  • Has fans who demand that the coach be fired with each loss or draw.
  • Has fans who demand that the owner and general manager be replaced after each trophy-less season.
  • Has fans who hate David Beckham.
  • Played a home game at FedEx Field on August 9, 2009.
  • Boasts of winning the domestic league and the region's Champions League/Cup, although neither has accomplished those feats recently.
Feel free to add more in the comments or just repeatedly type "dos a cero."